Left Arm

You know you are on to something good when your blog post vanishes into thin air...apparently Satan don't like these words...

A few weeks ago I was in a bad place...didn't want to leave the house, dreaded running into people and being at all social. I consider myself to be a avid church goer...going all the time only missing church when there is sickness or we are out of town. Since Whitney was hospitalized and then passed I (as you know, if you are following) had only gone to a few services and was a puddle of tears and in my opinion no way fit to worship with others especially at CTK, the biggest church in Whatcom County. But 4 weeks ago I went back to church, I forced myself to take more then a baby step and go, go for me, for my kids and for my family. I needed to just do it! The first two weeks I had started back into a normal schedule I got sick to my stomach before I would leave the house and be sick right until I got in and began to join fellow sisters and brothers in worship.

The worship has really been a place of healing for me. I am tearful and feel the most connected to Christ when singing praises to His name. I have gone (with the exception to today) 3 weeks in a row and feel like I have moved miles in 3 weeks. I can go shopping at the store again, speak to anyone about my sister, her story, her life and her death. I stopped reading the "self-help" books for a few weeks as well and spent hours working out again at the pool...giving myself time to heal and get back to taking care of me, my kids and family.

I am still sad and feel like I lost my left arm. It is hard to explain how one goes through life without a left arm. It changes you. It can change you for the worse or for the better. It just depends on your perspective and how you allow God to use you without that left arm...plus the mere fact that your left arm is gone is the very tool God is using to reach those who have lost their left arms as well. You can be a light in the darkness, you can feel someones soul filled with pain and grief like no other person, with the exception to Christ. I took sometime to research people who have overcome losing their left arm literally. I remembered a girl that was attacked by a shark and her tremendous faith and courage to keep on doing what she loved...I googled "girl surfer attacked by shark" and my google results came back with Bethany Hamilton and to my utter shock, a movie everyone is talking about and I am yet to see...Soul Surfer...whoa, blows my mind still. Take a look at this for more info on her story http://www.soulsurferthemovie.com/page/true-story.html God is so amazing and continues to work in us and all our stories are inner twinned...we all mesh together for His glory and to complete His story.

God has showed me so much through the death of my sister and I am learning so much about my strength and who I am and what I need to be working on to better myself.

Losing your left arm is a bum deal, but it can also be an amazing ride and the very reason for your existence.